Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
