you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I have fence marks all over my body
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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