was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
