As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
