At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
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