So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
