suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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