I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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