i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
