Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize