I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You need a sexual gate keeper
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
