not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
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