From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
