Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's no shave November. This is our time.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
