hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
