TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Is Oprah even human
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize