This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
