I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
