I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
