please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
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