Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
