I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
