Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
