what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
