I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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