I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize