Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
