All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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