Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
there was a trapeze. enough said
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
