So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
