Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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