the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
