she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
