we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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