He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
