My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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