i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
BRING THE BAGELS
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
