Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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