Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
COCAINE IS GR8
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
