who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
