I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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