I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
