a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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