Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
