I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
