please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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