MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
where are my eyebrows?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
