did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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