Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
