I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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