I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
