so that wasnt chicken after all
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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