can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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