uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Someone came in the potted fern
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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