Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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