I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
