Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
