If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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